


The things I deserve

by PuckPuck



Category: Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Angst, Depressed Ishimaru Kiyotaka, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, not really in detail tho, they’re adults in this one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-12 13:47:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28761282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PuckPuck/pseuds/PuckPuck
Summary: From the very moment he was born, Kiyotaka deserved this.
Relationships: Ishimaru Kiyotaka/Oowada Mondo
Comments: 9
Kudos: 95





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Who’s ready for some Taka angst??? Because I sure am
> 
> Wrote this instead of sleeping oops

The night was still, not a single car, not a single gust of wind, only cold, still air and the sound of his footsteps were present. Kiyotaka makes his way down the dark, empty streets of his town. His destination is unknown but what he does know is he just needs to get _out_. He needs to be far and gone and gone for good because he has no place here anymore. It’d be better for everyone if he just...disappeared.

He had once had a home here, he really did and he loved every second of it, but alas nothing good lasts very long for Kiyotaka, he knows this well. He’s not even mad about it, not even the slightest bit upset because it was inevitable and he was well aware that it was all rather fitting in the end. Yes, he deserved such a fate. He is a horrible person after all. He doesn’t deserve nice things, never has and never will.

This was proven when he met Mondo. Mondo was, in every way possible, perfect. He was strong, brave, handsome and kind and was everything that Kiyotaka could only ever wish to be. He was there for Kiyotaka almost as soon as they started highschool and was his best friend, later his lover, for the entirety of highschool and even after. They had been perfect for eachother...well Mondo was perfect for Kiyotaka. Taka on the other hand was nothing but a burden, he’s surprised Mondo saw anything in him at all. But Kiyotaka didn’t care because he loved Mondo and Mondo loved _him_ and everything was so much better than he ever thought possible and _God_ did he treasure every second he spent with the love of his life. 

They had separated to attend University but stayed in touch via cellphone. After they completed their college years they rented an apartment together and worked on their respective careers. Mondo pursued his dream and excelled in his carpentry while Kiyotaka got...nowhere near his dream at all.

He had realized while in college that his dream was simply just that: a dream. He had let himself remain naïve enough for so long and he finally grew up and realized that being the head of the country was just too much for a royal fuck-up like himself to manage. It was beyond ridiculous that he had even once considered this dream of his to one day become reality. 

He suddenly had no desire to become prime minister anymore.

Instead, he worked as an office worker for a high-profile tech company. Chihiro’s tech company. Kiyotaka was beyond proud of his friend for achieving such an amazing feat in such a short amount of time. Of course it wasn’t exactly surprising though, for Chihiro actually had real talent. Chihiro treated him well, he received a well-paid salary and the job had its benefits.

Why then, was it that every day Kiyotaka attended his job, he felt just a little bit more empty inside?

He was selfish, that’s why. So selfish that a high-paying job wasn’t enough to satisfy him, that he craved something more than just a nice paycheck. He was disgusting. 

His relationship with Mondo was going as good as it probably could’ve been but he had noticed over time that his boyfriend had begun to be more...distant. He wasn’t as passionate as he used to be, wasn’t as nurturing or as cuddly anymore. His eyes always glued to his phone screen. Always dismissing himself to run off into another room while answering his phone.

Kiyotaka had let it slide long enough and had finally decided that he needed answers. So one night he had waited for Mondo to fall asleep and once he did, he took the opportunity to snoop through his messages. He didn’t like doing this, but he knew that if he were to ask Mondo directly, he wouldn't get a legitimate answer. 

That’s when he found it. Mondo was cheating on him. With another man whose name Kiyotaka did not recognize.

Kiyotaka knew he should be angry, he should be screaming and crying and waking Mondo up and _demanding_ why Mondo would ever do such a thing. But instead, he found himself letting out a quiet, pained laugh. 

He laughed at how fucking obvious it was that this was coming. He laughed at himself for being such a fool that he hadn’t even once considered this would happen to him. How pathetic he was for even once believing that his relationship with Mondo would be the one good thing in his life that would last. He should’ve known better.

The next morning, he must’ve forgotten to close the message tab on Mondo’s phone because he came out of the bedroom with an enraged look on his face, cellphone clutched tightly in his hand. “What the FUCK Ishimaru??” The biker roared, taking slow steps towards Kiyotaka, “Why the fuck did ya look through my GOD DAMN MESSAGES?? DO YA NOT HAVE _ANY_ FUCKIN RESPECT FER YOUR OWN PARTNER’S PRIVACY??” He got right up in Taka’s face, “I NEVER THOUGHT _YOU_ OF ALL PEOPLE WOULD STOOP SO LOW AS TO LOOK THROUGH MY FUCKIN PHONE! YOU NOSEY PIECE OF SHIT!” He threw a sloppy punch at Kiyotaka’s face and took a few deep breaths. Taka didn’t even flinch.

Calmed down a bit, Mondo met Kiyotaka’s eyes in a fierce stare. “Look, the truth is since we moved here together, the spark we had in high school sort of just began to go away. I’ve been seein’ another guy for a little over a year now an’ I was actually just about to tell ya that I think I’m gonna break things off with ya” Taka winced a bit. 

“I’d say I’m sorry but, after this morning, I just can’t bring myself to feel all that bad for ya, I mean, you’re pretty much set for life anyway. You’ll be fine”. His words sounded sincere but his grimace said otherwise.

With a sigh, Kiyotaka gave a sad smile, “well...thanks for everything Mondo. I guess this is farewell then”. And without waiting for a reply, he left the apartment.

He spent the day aimlessly walking through town. He had stopped at the local park for a while and sat down on an empty bench, watching as light snow flurries fell from the pure white sky. For once in his life, watching the snow steadily fall, his mind was at ease. 

He had been thinking all day about what he was going to do with himself now, and during this moment, sitting here, he knew what he wanted to do.

This serene moment was interrupted by a vibration coming from his pant pocket. He took out his phone and saw a text notification. It was from Mondo.

**Mondo: hey bro. wanted to apologize about earlier today. That was totally uncalled for on my part. Lmk when you come back to collect your things so I can apologize to ya again in person.**

Kiyotaka sighed and pocketed his phone once more. He did not plan on returning to retrieve his belongings, he wasn’t going to need them anymore.

* * *

It was dark now, the snow had since stopped falling, the sky now cleared up, and all was still. All was still except for Kiyotaka, who was making his way down the dark streets of the vacant town. He has no destination in mind. He just keeps walking and walking, mind completely overtaken by his raging thoughts. 

He’s not surprised that it had ended up this way, he was horrible. Scum of the earth that was destined to a fate such as this from the moment he was born. As soon as he was born he had already taken a life. His mother’s. She had died while giving birth to him. 

He was a cursed, evil child, a bad omen that was meant to do nothing but cause suffering for anyone who ever took the effort to get to know him. 

This was proven by his dad, riddled with pain and grief, who killed himself when Kiyotaka was only 10. He lived with his grandfather afterwards but the man never spoke a word to him. He passed away the same year Kiyotaka was accepted into Hope’s Peak. 

This was proven by Mondo, who felt so miserable in a relationship with him that he resorted to cheating. 

Taka was a plague, everything he touched and everyone he loved were affected and he hated it. He hated the earth he walked on. He hated the air he breathed. He hated people around him. He hated himself. 

He hated himself so, so goddamn much, so _deeply_ , and he wanted nothing more than to rid the world of his horrendous, dirty miserable existence. It was the least he could do to make up for all the harm he’s done. 

His footsteps finally ceased. He was now standing on top of a large bridge. He looked out over the edge, an endless flow of water sparkled as it reflected and refracted the moon’s light. He seemed so small in comparison to the giant, ever flowing river below him. He looked up at the sky, glaring at the moon with its foreboding and ominous, yet soft and gentle pale glow. 

He thought of his dad, his grandfather and how he let them down. He thought of the kids who once tormented him mercilessly in school, thought about how nobody ever helped him then. He thought about Mondo and how much he still loved him. He wasn’t good enough for him, wasn’t good enough for anyone or anything. And for that, he was sorry. So very sorry that he couldn’t do a single good thing with this life of his that he utterly _wasted_ without a second thought.

An ugly mix between a sob and a laugh erupted from his throat. He laughed hysterics as tears streamed down his face. Such a joke. Such a _fucking_ joke he was, a snivelling mess clinging onto the railing of the bridge for dear life with beyond shaky hands. He looked down at them and then squeezed his eyes shut and slowly, his laughs died down and he opened his eyes once more.

His mind was still now too. Quiet of all the static noise that was present only a moment ago. The tears continued to flow freely down his face but he paid them no mind as he took a shaky breath and began to climb over the railing. He shivered, had it always been this cold?

He looked out at the twinkling water, and then back up at the moon one last time. A ghost of a smile graced his lips as he took in all the detail he could of the almost ethereal scenery. This was good. This was right. This was how it should be. This was what he deserved. 

He closed his eyes, leaned forward, and let himself go.


	2. Mondo’s perspective

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I’ve been thinking of writing this for a while now and a few of you guys seemed to be interested in seeing Mondo’s reaction as well soooo at long last here it is!

**hey bro. wanted to apologize about earlier today. That was totally uncalled for on my part. lmk when you come back to collect your things so I can apologize to ya again in person.**  
**_(seen)_**

Mondo checked his phone for the fifth time that hour. Taka had seen the message almost as soon as Mondo had sent it to him, but he had yet to respond. He was beginning to question if he ever would at all. 

And that worried him. A lot.

Taka never left a message unanswered ever. He could understand though that Taka may just want some space still at the moment. He would have to come around eventually to collect his things after all. 

Mondo had already felt guilty for kicking him out mere minutes after Taka had gone out the door. Even though his feelings towards the noirette weren't the same as they had been only just a few years ago, he did still love the guy. He was still his kyoudai and he should've treated him as such. Curse him and his stupid anger issues...He should've handled that situation differently.

Actually, scratch that, he should've handled a lot of things differently.

After returning from University, Mondo was beyond excited to be with his boyfriend again. They had already found an apartment and would be moving in that night, and although once he had been reunited with his lover he was happy, he was lacking the usual overall warm, fuzzy feeling of being with his love.

He had tried everything, from taking Taka out to dinner, for a movie, making out and having sex, but none of it was as exciting or fulfilling as he had once remembered it to be. At night, sleeping with Taka just felt like sharing a bed with a brother. Nothing more.

However he could assume that the same could not be said for Kiyotaka. His deep red eyes still had that cute lovestruck look to them and he still clung to Mondo whatever chance he got. This just made Mondo feel all the more guilty. How could he tell his kyoudai, his _lover_ , that he no longer saw his partner the same? He just couldn't find it in himself to break the man's heart.

Cheating was something he had never intended on doing. He had originally planned to stick it out with Taka until he had the courage to fess up, but a late night at a local bar had changed those plans entirely. 

He had gone out straight from work to get a few drinks before having to turn in for the night. It was a friday night and Kiyotaka would be the one making dinner anyway so what was a few extra hours away from home? It was totally reasonable and he knew his kyoudai wouldn't mind.

Sitting himself in a small, mostly empty bar, he ordered a few beers and before he knew it, Mondo was drunk. In this drunken state he was approached by the bartender, who had introduced himself with a wink and offered a listening ear, noting he saw that Mondo looked a bit troubled.

That was all it took for Mondo to spill all of his problems to the stranger. He had vented for hours, and the man was just so _nice_ and within a blink of an eye they were on their way to the guy's _house_ and just like that they were in bed together. 

And it was that night, laying in bed drunk off his ass with a man he barely knew when those feelings came back. The warm, cozy yet slightly uncomfortable feeling in his stomach that made him want to laugh and hurl at the same time. The feeling of wanting nothing more than to hold this man in his arms.

He was fucking in love with that bartender.

That next morning he had a killer hangover. The man offered for Mondo to stay for the day but he declined, knowing that by now Kiyotaka must surely be worried about him. 

"You know you don't have to stay with him if it makes you so miserable"

The bartender chuckled a little but his words were serious.

"I know...but I need to find the right way to tell him. The guy's still important to me, I'd hate to do anything that'd really hurt him ya know?"

Mondo sighed. He knew that he couldn't keep Taka in the dark forever, but he was just too scared to break his heart. He knew that he'd play it off, tell Mondo he was alright and that he'd be fine but he couldn't fool Mondo. Taka was selfless, and while Mondo admired that about him he also hated that he always swept all of his own problems under the rug. It just wasn't healthy. He was struggling, and Mondo really just didn't want to add to that. 

So the two men exchanged phone numbers and with that Mondo was on his way home. The bartender only lived a few blocks away from his own home so it was a relatively short walk. Huh, convenient.

When Mondo entered the house, the first thing he noticed was Taka sitting on the couch, bags under his eyes and his eyebrows knitted in worry. He looked terrible, and Mondo immediately felt guilty for that.

The sound of the door closing behind him had finally caught Kiyotaka’s attention and his head snapped over to Mondo. Almost instantly tears gathered in his eyes as Taka shot up off the couch and practically knocked Mondo ever as he squeezed him in a tight hug. Stunned, Mondo went to go wrap his arms around Taka in return but before he even had the chance Taka had quickly pulled away and smacked Mondo’s arm.

“Mondo! You have absolutely no idea how scared I was! You never came home and when I tried to call you you never picked up and I thought you were _dead_ Mondo! I thought maybe someone had got into a fight with you and you would never come back and oh Mondo please if you ever want to go out for the night I don’t care just _tell_ me _please_!”

At this point Taka was full out sobbing and as much as Mondo wanted to comfort him his head was killing him and he felt like he was gonna throw up any second.

“Look, I’m sorry ok? Yer right, I shoulda at least texted ya and next time I will ok? Just, please stop crying aight? I’m fine!”

Taka just sniffled in response and Mondo sighed, ruffling his hair before making a mad dash to the bathroom. 

Mondo had been glued to his phone, constantly texting back and forth with the bartender. He couldn’t help it! He just felt good whenever he spoke to him. It’s been a month now and he’s spent every weekend over at his place. And yes, he’d make sure to check in with Taka every night he was out.

He knew Taka was beginning to get suspicious but the noirette had kept his mouth shut about it. If he ever asks Mondo’s already prepared to say he’s hanging out with Leon. Him and Leon were chill so he of course had already told Leon of his situation.

“Dude you really should let Taka know that you don’t want to be with him anymore. I know you don’t want to hurt the guy but Mondo, if he finds out you’re cheating it's only gonna hurt him more.”

Mondo understood Leon’s concern but he knew he had this under control. Taka respected his personal boundaries too much to happen to stumble upon Mondo’s new unspoken boyfriend. And after explaining this to Leon, although a bit reluctantly, he had agreed to do whatever he could to help keep Mondo out of trouble with Taka.

His little charade had been going on for about a year now and throughout this time he had all but blocked Taka out of his life entirely except for in the mornings and to thank him for dinner. He had failed to notice the shine in Taka’s eyes extinguish nor had he realized that the man himself was suddenly a lot more quiet. A lot more...sullen.

His secret lover had just recently got an eviction notice. He had 24 hours to get his stuff and get out of his house until the state had control of it, so it’s gotten to the point he’s been dreading the most. He had to come clean to Kiyotaka.

In hindsight he knew it was a bad idea, to tell his boyfriend he was cheating only to kick him out of his own home to be replaced by his...well replacement all in the same day. It made him sick just thinking about it but he knew this was the only way. His partner needed a place to go, _now_ , and he knew Kiyotaka made good money and could probably stay in a hotel or something until he was able to find a decent apartment to live in. And if not, he’s sure Leon would be more than happy to lend him his place to stay for as long as he needed to.

Still laying in bed, he reached over to the nightstand to grab his phone and text his love good morning, however he didn’t need to open the messaging app because it was already opened…

No.

No _fucking_ way… He did _not_ …

“Oh my god he fuckin’ did!”

He muttered under his breath. He couldn’t believe this. Kiyotaka really did have the nerve to look through his fucking phone. He really didn’t trust him enough that he had to look through his messages. To say Mondo felt hurt was an understatement, he felt utterly and completely betrayed. Like he’d had the wind knocked out of him and was kicked repeatedly before he could even remotely begin to catch his breath again.

Funny coming from him though, his brain taunted, imagine how betrayed Kiyotaka must feel knowing the man he loved for so long had betrayed _him_. Mondo had immediately disregarded the rational part of his brain. Mondo was hurt and it was Kiyotaka’s fault. He had no sympathy for him.

Clutching his phone in a death grip, he got up out of bed and stormed into the kitchen, fully intended on giving Kiyotaka a piece of his mind.

“What the _FUCK_ Ishimaru??” Mondo had roared, the look of confusion on Kiyotaka’s face only making him even more livid.

“Why the fuck did ya look through my GOD DAMN MESSAGES?? DO YA NOT HAVE _ANY_ FUCKIN’ RESPECT FER YER OWN PARTNER’S PRIVACY??”

At some point during his tirade, Taka had gotten up from his seat at the table, slowly backing up into the wall with every step Mondo took closer to him, until Mondo was right up and in his face.

“I NEVER THOUGHT _YOU_ OF ALL PEOPLE WOULD STOOP SO LOW AS TO LOOK THROUGH MY PHONE! YOU NOSEY PIECE OF SHIT!”

At this point Mondo was no longer thinking. He was just doing. And next thing he knew he was punching Kiyotaka right in the face. It was seeing Taka’s broken look that finally snapped him out of it. The young man looked so, so tired, and his tired eyes had completely zapped the fire from Mondo’s. 

He told Taka the truth about his new partner, about how he needed a place to stay and that Taka needed to get out. He saw Taka wince at that and it tugged at his heart but he was still angry though, and he did his best to give Taka an intimidating look as he spoke once more in a more calm, albeit icy, level tone.

“I’d say I’m sorry but, after this morning, I just can’t bring myself to feel all that bad for ya, I mean, you’re pretty much set for life anyway. You’ll be fine.”

He had said that but, it wasn’t true. Not at all. He felt terrible about all of this, that this was how he and Taka had to end their relationship. But he had to say this and convince himself somehow that he didn’t feel bad. That he could live with this and not feel bad.

He was snapped back to reality when he heard a small, sad sigh come from Kiyotaka, who looked up at him with dead eyes and a sad smile.

“Well...thanks for everything Mondo. I guess this is farewell then.”

And those words right there hurt him more than anything else. More than the thought of no longer being able to return his feelings, more than the guilt of cheating on his bro, and way more than discovering that his bro, his best friend, had felt the need to check Mondo’s phone because he couldn’t trust his lover anymore. Mondo wanted nothing more to just keel over and die right then and there but instead he just stood there, frozen in shock as Kiyotaka exited the apartment. 

He let out a frustrated yell, kicking over the chair Taka had been previously sitting on.

“Dude, you gotta apologise like, right now! Why haven’t you already done that??”

Leon practically yelled into the phone. After sulking all day, Mondo had finally decided to phone Leon, wondering if Kiyotaka had decided to go over to his place. It was starting to snow and he knew Taka didn’t really have anything too warm on before he left the apartment so he was getting a bit nervous for him.

Leon had responded that no, Kiyotaka was not at his place, and wanted to know “what the flippity fuck” Mondo had done. After explaining what went down, Leon had given Mondo the scolding of a lifetime. And Mondo knew it was well deserved.

So here he was now, still on the phone with Leon as he began writing out his apology to Taka in the form of a text message.

“Oh, uh, sorry Sayaka’s calling! Gotta get this! Let me know how it goes with Taka! Later”

Leon had hung up before Mondo could even respond and Mondo rolled his eyes. Typical Leon. 

He had to delete and retype at least twenty times before he was finally satisfied with his message. And even then it wasn’t too good, but it was good enough and that was all Mondo needed to hit the send button and wait.

Now, nearly two hours since the message was sent, it was getting dark and Taka had yet to show up, let alone respond to his message, and if Mondo was worried before, he’s extremely worried now. What if something happened to him, what if he fell and got knocked out in the cold and he was freezing to death? Or what if he had wandered into some shady alley and got himself in trouble with some street thugs?

His mind was racing a mile a minute and he couldn’t help but think that this is what Kiyotaka must’ve felt like that first night Mondo had gone out for the night without telling Taka he was safe. God he’s such a fucking _idiot_. He felt tears begin to prick in his eyes but before they could fall he forced them back down. 

“Calm down Mondo, he’s probably fine.” 

He told himself over and over until his heart stopped racing so fast. When Taka had felt this way, it all turned out fine in the end. Mondo was safe and he did return home the next day. And there was no reason for this to be any different.

But he still couldn’t help but feel like something about this whole thing was absolutely, positively _wrong_.

And that twisted feeling in his gut that told him something bad was going to happen is what prompted Mondo to call up Leon once more. He had to check…

“Hey man, how’d it go with Taka?”

Mondo’s stomach sank.

“He’s not there with you?”

Mondo’s voice was beginning to tremble a bit. _Fuck_.

“No why would he- you mean, he never came back?”

Leon started to sound a bit alarmed. Mondo let out a shaky breath before answering.

“No man, he read my message but he didn’t respond or anything...it’s dark now so I figured maybe he went to go spend the night with you instead.”

“Sorry dude but I haven’t heard a thing from him. Anywhere else you think he might’ve chosen to stay for the night?”

Mondo thought briefly on where else his bro could’ve gone. It’s possible he either chose to stay with Chihiro, since his house is about an hour’s walk from their apartment. Or he went to the closest inn which is about, a little over an hour and a half away on foot. But Mondo had a feeling both places would come up empty of a Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

“Ya know, Taka has been rather depressed lately...you don’t think it’s possible that he...ya know…”

Leon didn’t have to finish that thought for Mondo to know what it was that he was implying.

“No! There’s...there’s no way he would do that! That’s just not the kind of person he is!”

Mondo refused to believe it. There’s no way his bro would off himself, he’s too stubborn to do such a thing, sure he may get down at times, but he’s always got this way about him that keeps himself going. It’s something that high school Mondo had found rather attractive about the red eyed boy.

“Maybe not a year ago but Mondo… maybe you didn’t notice it that much but ever since you’ve gotten together with mr. bartender he’s been way more...bummed out than I’ve ever seen the guy before. I only saw him a handful of times and he looked miserable every time.”

That...Mondo hadn’t even noticed. What kind of bro was he if he couldn’t even tell that his bro was suffering? God, Mondo knew he was stupid but not this stupid! How could he have been so oblivious to the fact that Taka was down right miserable for an entire _year_??

Oh god, he fucked up bigtime. He’s gotta go find Taka. _Now_.

“I...Leon I’m going out to find him. I’ll call you later aight?”

It didn’t take long for Leon to respond,

“Sounds good man! I’ll call and ask around to see if he went to stay with anyone. I’ll let you know if I manage to get a hold of him!”

And with that, Mondo had hung up the phone and put on his coat and scarf and headed out.

He rang up Taka’s phone as he walked to his bike, hoping that maybe he’d pick up but it kept going straight to voicemail. Fuck. Did his phone die or something?

He had virtually no idea where Taka could’ve gone and wasn’t exactly sure where to start looking until he heard sirens. Two cop cars and an ambulance whizzed by and something in his gut told him to follow them.

So follow he did as he revved his bike and took off right behind him, all the way to the bridge that leads into their town... Oh no, he did not like where this was going…

The cop cars stopped at the edge of the bridge while the ambulance had turned and started driving down the riverbank towards the water. Running over to the edge of the bridge to get a better look, Mondo bent over the railing and saw a scarily familiar figure getting dragged out of the water and pulled onto a stretcher.

He never ran as fast in his life as he did in that moment, heart nearly pounding out of his chest and blood rushing in his ears as he raced down the riverbank, stopping just as he reached the stretcher.

Sure enough it was, in fact, Kiyotaka on that stretcher. His eyes were half-lidded, dull crimson eyes. Glassy, unfocused and staring at nothing, with heavy dark bags underneath them and his mouth was slack, a small stream of water pooling out of it. His lips were blue and his skin was sickly pale, and it was hard to tell in the moonlight but it seemed to have a bluish tint to it as well. He reached out and touched his face. He was ice cold...

His chest did not rise and fall. There was absolutely no movement whatsoever. Kiyotaka Ishimaru was dead.

Mondo felt his entire world shatter at that very moment. Everything that had been leading up to this, all the lies and secrets and conflicting emotions all building up to this very moment when Mondo finds out that the man he cares for the most is gone. Deceased. Drowned himself in a fucking river because Mondo had pushed him to the point of no return. He had killed yet another brother.

He fell to his knees and sobbed. He didn’t care who was there, didn’t care when they had asked him to get out of their way, he didn’t care when they had eventually moved around him, wheeling Taka away to probably put in a morgue somewhere.

He sobbed even harder at the thought. His brother was gone and it was all his fault. “I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m so _so very sorry_ …. Taka… I should’ve been there for you, my feelings be damned. My love life is important to me but your mental health should’ve been my top priority, but I completely neglected you...I’m so sorry”

He muttered apology after apology until his fingers were cold and stiff and he could barely feel them anymore. He finally got up and trudged over to his bike. He got out his phone and dialed up Leon to tell him the news.

The funeral had been held three days later, it was small, the only ones attending being Mondo, Leon, Sayaka, Chihiro and Makoto. Aoi and Sakura had sent their condolences, they were unable to attend because a snowstorm had caused their flight to be cancelled.

Everyone had paid their respects and as the casket was lowered into the ground, Mondo tried to stay strong but he couldn’t help but cry. Leon had squeezed his hand reassuringly, tears leaking out of his eyes as well. And Chihiro let out a sob, Mondo wrapped him in a tight hug.

It was beginning to get dark and everyone had long since left the burial site, but Mondo had stayed, texting his boyfriend to let him know he’d be returning a bit later than planned. 

He stared down at Kiyotaka’s grave, a small picture of Taka and himself back in high school was propped up against the headstone. His smile had looked so pure, so...happy, and god Mondo would do anything just to see it on his face one more time.

“Hey, Taka, if you’re listening then you know how sorry I am and, when I think about you and what was going through yer mind during the moments leading up to when ya took the plunge... if ya thought what I think ya thought in those moments, then I need ya ta know that no, Taka, no matter what has happened to ya in yer short, hellish life, you didn’t deserve this. Not even close. This is absolutely _not_ what you deserved.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, there you guys have it! Hope this was satisfying in a way for you guys to see that mondo isn’t intentionally an asshole he just can’t help it sometimes haha 
> 
> He really tried guys but he was totally just in over his own head unfortunately and that led to him getting rather carried away...
> 
> I felt bad making the bartender a specific character so if theres anyone in danganronpa you don’t like then u guys can imagine him as whoever, otherwise he can just be some random bartender lol 
> 
> As always i hope you guys enjoyed and feel free to let me know what you think!


End file.
